How To Be a Confident Woman and Mother
Self-confidence is the belief in your own ability when doing anything, by viewing yourself positively and realistically about yourself and your environment. (Densky 2006) In addition, you also need to believe that you have the ability to succeed. Self-confidence is also when you feel certain about yourself, your actions, decisions and opinions, and self-reliance. Yet, self-confidence is a very useful and powerful tool for everyone to achieve goals and fulfill wishes. Everywhere you go and everything you do; self-confidence is needed for your accomplishment of what you did.
Sometimes as mothers, we doubt whether we are doing a good job. Those doubts may overwhelm us eating away at our confidence. We may even begin to doubt our devotion for our children or our ability achieve our own dreams and goals outside of being a parent. Like a jumbled adolescent, uncertain of their identity, mothers can feel fearful and anxious about these issues as well.
Many think that they know what and how self-confidence is, but do not fully understand the proper and effective ways to improve it. Improving self-confidence is not depending just on oneself but building confidence in God and partnering with the Word of God. Psalm 116:2 reads, but we build our confidence in God by consistently turning to Him for help in every circumstance. This allows us to grow in faith, trusting that although we may not get everything we desire, He's promised to provide what we need in His perfect timing. Furthermore, the ways to improve self-confidence are easy as long as you have a strong will to never give up. Self-confidence can be improved by thinking positively, believing in yourself, setting realistic goals and learning, and consistently turning to God for help and guidance.
As a mother of two I’ve had to decode and unpack my self-confidence in different ways. Firstly, understanding the things that trigger my confidence. Sometimes especially sensitive to criticism or questions about decisions I’ve made both good and bad. In some moments criticizing myself more than others. Decisions like whether to put my daughter in ballet or hip-hop class or should I get a tutor when I notice one of my children struggling with math or reading. Sometimes because friends or family ask why I do things or even why my children may behave in a certain way that is all it takes for self-doubt and self-criticism to set in. If not managed well all these factors will begin to eat away at your confidence to be a healthy parent. Here are some specific things we can do to keep our Mommy confidence unbroken.
Remember God is ultimately the one in control. It is okay to make mistakes, God’s grace will fill in the gaps.
Parenting is a journey. Continually seek wisdom from the more experienced Christian friends or talk to a Christian counselor. I’ve always found that reading a good book, or a specific one on things like discipline, or child development, school and social issues, is very helpful when sorting through problems that arise.
Attend a parenting class or support group. You’ll begin to feel more confident when you have more information. “the more you know the more you function, the less you know the less you function.”
Talk with other moms. Especially those ahead in the parenting game. Someone’s who’s been there done that! Soak in advice from another woman you trust whose life has shown that she has learned a few things about kids. gamily, faith, and life.
A self-confident person and an optimistic, loving, independent, assertive, eager, self-respect and self-control person, and believe and know well about own abilities. Physically, a self-confident person looks confident with positive body language and good posture. That are, standing, sitting, and walking with straight back, grasping hands in front or back of body, walking with wide steps, firm handshakes, making eye contact and smiling are signs of self-confidence. You have to be positive even when you are feeling negative. This is because thinking negatively affects your self-confidence. However, this does not mean that you are ignoring the negative events, but you accept them, look for the best in the events, and obtain ways to turn them into positive. There, you will see opportunity and hopes to restart again. Allow God to empower you as a mother. God desires for you to have discernment, sensitivity, and wisdom.
References
Densky, A.B. 2006, Self-Confidence, What Is It And How Do I Get It? Neuro-Vision. Retrieved: October 27, 2007, from http://www.neuro-vision.us/Article/Self-Confidence-What-Is-It.html